This article was published in the Sunday Times 10th August 2008 under a special report: Suicide attempts

In summary, the article spoke of my attempted suicide in October 1995 after I was stressed out by work and home life. It spoke of my struggles as a caregiver for 33 years and why I regretted taking that drastic step to end my life. My concluding advice for persons wanting to end their life in the article is this: “Never do it because there is always a way out.” The article has a picture of me and my wife who is aided by a quad stick to help her manage her severe arthritis condition.

IT’S A BLESSING TO SHOW COMPASSION

This letter was published in the Catholic News on Sunday June 22, 2008

I refer to the thought provoking article, “Why it is more blessed to give than to receive” by Father Ronald Rolheiser.
I am very touched by Father Rolheiser’s compassion and understanding of what caregivers go through. I am also heartened that the Catholic News continues to raise awareness of the plight of caregivers and those suffering from mental illness.
Caregivers are often confronted with financial difficulties in providing support for their stricken ones. This is why I have been appealing for funds to be raised for this group of citizens. I am deeply saddened that no organization has found it in their hearts to respond to this call.
While major disasters are taking place in China and Myanmar, let us not forget about the “silent” disaster that is taking place right in our own backyard. This year alone so many people have either lost their lives or ended up going to jail because they could not manage mental illness.

Raymond Anthony Fernando

Singapore 560601

This letter was published in MY PAPER on Monday 24th March 2008.

This letter, which was published in the online section of the Straits Times on Saturday 16th February,
is reproduced below:
Caregivers of those with mental illness sometimes need assistance themselves
FOLLOWING the 11th relapse of her schizophrenia and depression, my wife was admitted to the Institute of Mental Health (IMH) a few days ago.Isolation from family members and her deep worry over her arthritis condition had triggered the relapse.

Now that she is in a completely disorientated state and out of touch with reality, I am falling into depression too as I witness my wife suffer so horrifically from this terrifying mental illness.

I am helpless and, in a bid to arrest the problem of isolation from friends and family, I have been appealing for support and for Befrienders to come and visit us. Sadly, so far, no one has responded.As my wife is being prepared for Electro Convulsive Therapy (ECT) to speed up her recovery, I am left to bear the pain alone. An IMH medical officer who initially refused to see me to explain the results of my wife's tests before her ECT, has compounded my pain.

I have struggled for more than three decades to care for my wife and it is taking a serious toll on my mental and physical health. Polyclinic doctors must also be trained to help patients who display warning signs of depression. Despite my revealing openly that I am severely depressed over my wife's relapse, no one has bothered to help.

In Singapore, there is no organisation that looks into the welfare of the caregiver whose loved one gets hospitalised for mental illness.There should be a system in place whereby the caregiver is given immediate assistance when a loved one suffering from mental illness is warded because we too are vulnerable to falling into depression.

If this crucial support is not addressed immediately, more and more people will fall into depression.

Raymond Anthony Fernando

Caregiver training needed to better manage mental illness

This letter, which was published in the online section of the Straits Times on Thursday 27th September 2007, is reproduced below:

I refer to Ms Yew May Choo’s letter, “ Discharge of patients: How does IMH decide? (ST, Sept 24).

I fully empathize and understand the difficulties that Ms Yew’s friend’s son and family are going through as my wife has battled schizophrenia for 32 years.

In the early stage of her illness, my wife too refused medication and relapses followed. As soon as she recovered, I would bring her home because staying too long in IMH will make her believe that that IMH is her home.

When such a scenario developed, it would be difficult for her to integrate back into society. However, through my constant supervision of her medication, treatment at IMH and support for her, she has recovered and even gone on to become an author of two cook books.

I encourage the son and family of Ms Yew’s friend to join support groups in the Singapore Association for Mental Health (SAMH) of which I am a volunteer. SAMH has a patient support group and a caregiver support group and also a Family Link Programme (FLP) that teaches patients and family members to better manage 3 types of mental illnesses- depression, schizophrenia and bipolar. These FLP courses that are run in Chinese and English at different periods in a year have benefited many people.

In IMH, the focus is often on the patient and the caregiver is forgotten. As a result of this, caregivers are so stressed out that they too develop mental disorders.With more than one family member struggling with mental illness, many give up. To help caregivers cope better, IMH should tap on successful caregiver stories. They should bring in speakers who have managed to help their loved ones recover from mental illness and turned their lives around.

Through these sharing sessions, family members will be motivated to travel the difficult journey of caring for a relative with mental illness. We need to encourage, motivate and inspire people with mental illnesses so that they can lead more meaningful lives.

Unlike some physical ailments, recovery from mental illnesses is a slow process. This is why patience, perseverance and even prayer are crucial in caring for someone with mental illness.

Raymond Anthony Fernando

This letter, which was published in the online section of the Straits Times on Friday 14th September, is reproduced below:

I refer to the report, “ Businessman offers to help mentally ill bomb-hoax man” (ST, Sept 12).
It is encouraging that Mr Stephen Tan has come forward to pay $1,000 for the jailed convict’s medical treatment.

I have every confidence that with proper psychiatric treatment Shah Billal Sapuan, who suffers from paranoid schizophrenia, will recover. But what is needed is also follow-up step-down care to ensure that Shah continues to take his medication and go for treatment that includes counselling.

Perhaps if Shah is able to find a job after he recovers, he can go on to lead a normal life, because work therapy works for the mentally ill. We must always remember that an idle mind is a devil’s workshop.
I hope that more people and organisations will take the cue from this kind-hearted businessman and support people with mental illness. It can make a big difference in the lives of the mentally ill who often stay hidden.

This year alone, there have many cases of people suffering from mental illness who have been charged in court. Many sufferers do not seek treatment because people with mental illness are often discriminated against and isolated. If they are jobless, how do you expect them to pay for treatment? Suicide is also on the rise. What is being done to bring the suicide rate down?

More awareness and public education on mental illness must be created so that people suffering from stress are willing to seek treatment. The press has played a good supporting in highlighting mental illness issues.
In an increasing stressful environment such as ours, we must accept that mental illness can affect anyone regardless of age, race or religion. We need to talk about it, discuss it and debate it. We can no longer sweep this problem under the carpet.

If ex-convicts are given a second chance in life with unflagging support from the government, surely people with mental illness should be accorded equal support.

Raymond Anthony Fernando

This letter, which was published in the online section of the Straits Times on Tuesday 17th July 2007, is reproduced below:

The setting up of the Council for Third Age (C3A) gives hope to our fast ageing population.
Besides barrier free access and job creation, many of our senior citizens need services to help them in their twilight years.I have seen many such seniors struggling to walk on the roads, many limping as arthritis sets in.
I fear for their safety as they try to beat the traffic lights. When you are old, you become less mobile and in many cases, abandoned.

Very few people want you when you are old and grey. You get discarded like used furniture. This is the harsh reality in today’s mad rat race where only money talks.
The ministerial committee on ageing should tie-up with giant supermarkets to provide affordable home delivery services for sundry goods and cooked food.The present tingkat dinner services offered by commercial caterers is far too expensive and is only available from Mondays to Fridays.

If NTUC FairPrice or other supermarkets could offer such services, it will not only be providing a useful community service, but it will also help to create jobs for retirees who can take on the role of cooks, drivers, delivery staff and kitchen helpers.These services can be offered to supermarket cardholders and can even be extended to those who are convalescing at home after undergoing operations.

Such services will be beneficial to the supermarkets as it is likely to generate more revenue from the expected demand for such services.The senior citizens who need these services badly are those housed in HDB flats and with supermarkets in the vicinity, I have every confidence that with some effort, this idea can be implemented with excellent returns. It’s a definite win-win situation.
As we celebrate our next national day, let us spare a thought for our senior citizens who have contributed so much to our economic growth.

Raymond Anthony Fernando

This letter was published in the online section of the Straits Times on Tuesday 26th June 2007:

I refer to the letter, “ Don’t be harsh on families who abandon kin” (ST, June 22).

I would like to record my heartfelt thanks to Assoc Prof Lee Wei Ling for empathising with my predicament. Her compassion for caregivers is commendable. However, I have never viewed caring for my mentally ill wife as a burden. Rather, I see it as a responsibility, practicing the marriage vow that speaks of honouring, comforting and loving my wife in sickness and in health, for better or worse. People with mental illness just need one person to love them and they will recover.

Though my wife has recovered from schizophrenia, the possibility of a relapse is always there, especially in a very stressful place like Singapore. Having cared for her through her illness for 32 years, I know only too well the agony of seeing a loved one suffer so horrifically.

In November last year, my wife had a total knee replacement on her left leg and now the other leg has arthritis. The doctors at Tan Tock Seng hospital has given her two options: operate or go on painkillers. Six weeks supply of painkillers cost $142. How do caregivers who give up their jobs cope with such high cost?

As Dr Lee rightly pointed out, more chronic stay facilities are needed to tackle mental illness and other related chronic illnesses. But much more has to be done to get society to accept that mental illness will part of an increasingly complex urban lifestyle. Employment for persons who have recovered from mental illness has to be a top priority. The demand that job seekers must declare if they have a history of mental illness on job application forms is discriminatory and has to be removed if we want to get more people to seek treatment from depression and other forms of mental disorders. I am disturbed that the tripartite committee and the ministry of manpower have conveniently not addressed this issue.

Despite the huge challenges I face in caring for my wife, I will continue to care and support her to my last dying breath. Because if schizophrenia is part of my wife’s life, then it will surely be part of my life. And that will always be the guiding, motivating force of my life.

Raymond Anthony Fernando

The Catholic News, Viewpoints Page on Sunday 24th June 2007, page 17

Some months back, the press reported that 1 in 4 teens and adults would soon face mental problems. With a rapid ageing population, many of our senior citizens can also develop dementia and Alzeimer diseases in their twilight years. But it is not just dementia and Alzheimer’s that will see caregivers being burnt out, but other types of mental disorders such as schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and depression that can tear families apart.
A recent report in the newspapers (The Sunday Times, May 20) that elderly suicide is on the rise is also very disturbing. Many of our senior citizens fall into depression when they lose key social support, cannot cope with the rising cost of living, are isolated and left to fend for themselves. The Institute of Mental Health says that there are 40,000 people in Singapore who have schizophrenia, but I am very sure that there are many cases that go unreported. There are also those that do not seek treatment because our society is still not fully ready to accept people with mental illness.
What can we as Catholics do to help these people who are often trapped by an illness over which they have no control? When I gave a talk on schizophrenia to some 300 students at the Convent of the Holy Infant Jesus, I noticed that some of their secondary students were helping to raise funds for women with breast cancer. Our volunteer raise funds for ex-prisoners under the yellow ribbon project. Millions of dollars are raised every for many beneficiaries on a national level and even to benefit those overseas. Yet nobody has found it in their hearts to help raise money for persons with mental illness, many of whom are very poor.
I would therefore urge all Catholic churches and schools in Singapore to help raise funds once a year for persons with mental illnesses. The fund raising project can be held in October each year to “mirror” World Mental Health Day and the Rosary month. The money collected can be used to help pay for programmes, medications and even social support for those who are struggling with mental disorders.

Would the Catholic schools and churches take up my suggestion?

Raymond Anthony Fernando

The New Paper 3rd April 2007

The New Paper on Thursday 11th January, pages 46 & 48
At 57, he’s finally found his dream job/Write from the heart

In summary, the article, which is given in two-half pages spoke of how I turned my life around after I resigned from my 31-year job in the media industry to become an author, poet and a fervent advocate of the mentally ill. The article touched on my own struggle with depression following my unhappiness in my job, my suicidal moments and how my bent-up frustrations at work led to my mental breakdown and suicide attempt in 1995. On a positive note, it was through the skills that I acquired in my former job, such as letter-drafting and organisational skills that enabled me to become a successful writer and motivational speaker. The write-up also spoke of how I encouraged my wife, who has schizophrenia, to become a cookbook author, and my quest to become a future Stephen Covey of Singapore. In a concluding statement, I advised people who have lost their jobs not to lose hope, but to find interest in what they love to do, and make that their living.

Straits Times Forum Page, Friday 8th December 2006

Give caregivers Workfare Bonus too

I applaud the Prime Minister’s suggestion to make the Workfare Bonus a permanent fixture in Singapore’s social safety net.

I appeal to the Government to consider giving the bonus to caregivers because care-giving is not only a fulltime job, but also an extremely difficult task.

Like me, many caregivers had to give their jobs to care for their loved ones who are stricken with chronic illnesses. I now write for a living, after giving up my 31-year career.

Raymond Anthony Fernando

With government support, mental illness will slowly become accepted like any other physical illness
Straits Times online forum on Friday10th November 2006

I refer to the article, “ Expect more policy revamps in next 5 years (ST November 4). I applaud the Health Minister’s efforts to provide good mental care and to secure jobs for recovered mental persons. With the government’s support, mental illness will slowly become an accepted illness just like any other physical illness. Mr. Khaw Boon Wan was spot on when he mentioned that society’s picture of the mentally ill was largely incorrect and outdated.

The misconception that people with mental illness cannot work, are violent and cannot recover has to be corrected. There are success stories of people with mental illness who have turned their lives around and gone on to lead normal lives because they were lucky to have the much-needed support to help pull them through their recovery. I have come across many people, including highly educated ones, who continue to stigmatize and discriminate against the mentally ill. More needs to be done to change this mindset.

Volunteers of the Yellow Ribbon Project have done a fantastic job in providing wonderful support for ex-prisoners. I salute the employer who runs a café and employs mental patients and the 18 employers who recently offered jobs to inmates at the Changi prison job fair. The government may want to consider recognizing such compassionate employers so that it will motivate and encourage other companies to employ recovered patients. With newscasters donning the yellow ribbon on national television, the message in getting people to give ex-offenders a second chance in life is bearing fruit.

I would like to see the day when newscasters don the silver ribbon in support of the mentally ill. I would like to see funds raised for persons with mental illness just like convent school students go about raising funds for breast cancer.

With more people expected to seek treatment and counselling for mental illness, it is imperative that the government beefs up the resources and funding for mental health care providers so that they are well positioned to tackle the growing number of people seeking treatment.

On the living wills issue, the government must make a very clear stand on the rejection of the life support by the mentally ill and those who are disabled. If safeguards are not in place, people who are not in their correct state of minds or are disabled can so easily be taken advantage of. Who decides their fate should they become unconscious or terminally ill when the primary caregiver dies?

Raymond Anthony Fernando

The Straits Times Forum page September 16 2006
The Straits Times Forum page May 25 2006
Due to constraints on the large file size of scanned text, other letters are either typed out or summarised below - The Webmaster
MEDISHIELD CLAIMS: MAKE IT EASIER Straits Times Forum page, 17th August 2006 It is good that the Ministry of Health is looking into the feasibility of allowing patients to draw more from their Medisave accounts for day surgery ("Ways to improve health care under review by two groups"; ST Aug 15). The ministry should also look into ways of making it more convenient for patients to claim from MedShield. My wife has to undergo a knee operation at Tan Tock Seng Hospital (TTSH) in November. The estimated cost of the operation, including a seven-day stay, is $5,480, of which $3,300 can be paid through Medisave. The balance of $2,180 would have to be paid in cash. When I inquired about MediShield claims, I was told that after I have made the cash payment, TTSH will see to the MediShield claim and, after it is approved, the claimable amount would be refunded to me. Why can't the claimable amount be deducted from the estimated bill, so that I need not pay so much cash upfront and wait for weeks for the refund? Raymond Anthony Fernando
CDCs CAN HELP THE MENTALLY ILL TURN THEIR LIVES AROUND This letter, which was published in the online section of the Straits Times dated Thursday 20th July 2006, is summarised below. I supported a reader's call to get the CDCs to do more for the mentally ill. I spoke of the Arts Grant that I received from my own CDC, which has enabled me to chart a writing career and become more self-reliant
REPAIR AND RELOOK THE BRIDGE TO MENTAL HEALTH Mediacorp's TODAY Newspaper on Tuesday 27th June 2006, Page 15 In summary, I gave some suggestions on improving the service level at IMH, spoke of the shortage of nurses in IMH, and mentioned caring healthcare providers at this hospital that gave me the support for the tremendous pain and suffering I was going through when my wife had a relapse during the SARS period. I spoke of the need to reduce the patient capacity in the C class wards at IMH, as overcrowding in such wards will make it impossible for patients to get rest and recover. I suggested an on-going education programme that will help drive home the message that medication should not be stopped unless advised by the doctor, and for the government to form a task force to look into the urgent needs of the mentally ill here in Singapore.
THE MENTALLY ILL NEED BETTER SUPPORT AND WELFARE The New Paper Thursday, 8 June 2006, Page 27 I refer to your report, "Struggle for sanity" (4 June). I was a caregiver to my wife, who used to suffer from depression and schizophrenia. Though she has recovered, it has been a lonely journey for me for the last 32 years. Having seen my wife struggle, I have been campaigning for better support and better welfare for the mentally ill for more than three. But it is a daunting task. For more than 2 years, I campaigned for a bus service to the Institute of Mental Health because I saw how patients and caregivers struggled under the scorching sun and the rain. I wrote countless letters to the various government agencies but to no avail. So I wrote to the Prime Minister. SBS now provides a bus service on a three -month trial. In April, I met with Mr. Yeo Guat Kwang, who leads the labour movement, and two NTUC executives to discuss the plight of the mentally ill who cannot find work. While I appreciate their time, I was disappointed that my suggestion on the removal of the " history of mental illness" clause was not accepted. There are no halfway houses for the mentally ill here.In countries like Hong Kong, the annual budget for the mentally ill is $300 million. In Singapore, it is less than $1m. In my novel, Loving A Schizophrenic, my wife and I told our story. Many people have also told me about their struggle to cope with mentally ill families. Many stay hidden, suffering in silence. I have offered to give talks at hospitals on care-giving, but no one has taken up the offer. I have offered to teach creative writing to the mentally ill, but no one is keen.I have had doors slammed on me and phones banged down on me. My love for my wife keeps me going. Perhaps it is because I have seen her suffer so much that I feel so passionately about the plight of the mentally ill. Raymond Anthony Fernando
"STILL SPREADING THE WORD" Straits Times, " Mind Your Body" Supplement on Wednesday 21st December 2005, Page 9 A 6 month- review by " Mind your Body" to catch up on how my wife and I we doing after our story was published on 29th June 2005. In summary, it mentioned my ongoing campaign to remove the stigma from mental illness, the suggestions I made that will help improve the mental health care system in Singapore, the many letters that I had written to the media on mental illness, how my wife had provided me with the spark that changed my life for the better, the encouragement that I gave my wife to publish her own cookbook, " Cook with Love" and my plans to give talks and share my 32-year caregiving experience in many places so that people have a better understanding of mental illness.
"IN LOVE WITH A SCHIZOPHRENIC" Mediacorp's TODAY Newspaper on Wednesday 14th September 2005 In summary, these are the salient points of my letter. I suggested the setting up of a ribbon project similar to that of the yellow ribbon project to provide the much-needed for the mentally ill. I also suggested the following: Removal of the clause, " Do you have a history of mental illness" in public sector job application so that patients can find work. I spoke of the many roadblocks I faced in wanting to share my 32 years experience with caregivers and the public, the delay in implementing a public feeder bus service to ply into IMH grounds- a suggestion I made several times, suggested the setting up of a national fund for the mentally ill, and mentioned my novel, " Loving a Schizophrenic" that moved many caregivers and patients which saw them coming to me for help.
"SHE'S SCHIZO…. AND I LOVE HER" Straits Times, " Mind Your Body" Supplement on Wednesday 29th June 2005, Page 14 In summary, in this full page interview/article, I talked about my novel, " Loving a schizophrenic", why I decided to write our true-life story, the extremely difficult journey I have in caring for my wife, why I gave up my 31-year job, how God had saved me from my attempted suicide and some of the symptoms that my wife displays when she is into a relapse.
HELP SECURE MEDISHIELD COVER FOR THE MENTALLY ILL Straits Time Forum Page on Tuesday 28th June 2005, page H6 In summary, I responded to MOH's reply to my 1st letter dated 20th June 2005. I asked why it is not possible to implement MediShield coverage for the mentally ill even though MOH agreed that it is a fair request. I mentioned a caregiver who was sent from on a " hunt- around" in trying to secure insurance for her younger sister. I requested MOH to tie-up with insurance companies to implement this scheme and told of the many sacrifices that the burnt out caregivers make to care for their loved ones and yet they go unrecognized.
LET MEDISHIELD COVER THE MENTALLY ILL Straits Times Forum page on Tuesday 20th June 2005, page H6 The Ministry of Health (MOH) has raised premiums for the new MediShield to protect Singaporeans against the financial burden of large hospital bills in Class B2 and C wards. My wife is stricken with schizophrenia and she has battled this terrifying illness for more than 30 years. I have paid her MediShield premiums faithfully for more than 20 years. I have been told the new MediShield does not cover mental illness. Granted that mental illness requires long-term medical care, MOH should provide some protection for the mentally ill and their caregivers. Separately, I have noticed that Mandarin programmes on Channel 8 use the word sern chin ping ("crazy") freely in both dramas and variety shows. Chinese dramas during prime time use the word in practically every episode. Comedy shows have to resort to the word to raise a laugh.This word is so common, my Chinese neighbour uses it to discipline her daughters, aged three and two. Last month, I noticed three Primary 3 pupils engaged in conversation on a bus. One chided the other by saying: "You crazy! You better go to the Institute of Mental Health." What kind of values are promoting here? How is it that such insensitive language is used so frequently on national television, where prime-time shows reach more than one million viewers? It is little wonder that the mentally ill continue to be stigmatized and shunned. We should build a gracious society, not one that divides and segregates. I wrote a novel, Loving A Schizophrenic, to help demystify mental illness with the hope that society will give love, understanding and support to psychiatric patients and their caregivers as they struggle against tremendous odds to create a safe world for themselves. It was painful to write. My efforts will go down the drain if people continue to be prejudiced against the mentally ill. The Prime Minister has called on all Singaporeans repeatedly to put on their track shoes and complete the race with him. The mentally ill and their caregivers want to complete that race as well. Give us the track shoes, and we will not just complete the race but do so in record time. Raymond Anthony Fernando

Disclaimer: Readers should not regard the treatments and medications described in my novel as well as in this website, as medical advice. Please consult professional medical help for your symptoms.